Saturday, February 27, 2010


So! We are up to gift giving and receiving as a language of love.....I'm really bad at this one. That is the main thing I can say about it. But I hear that it's easier than I think it is. Because for someone who really feels loved through receiving gifts, it really is the thought that counts. It can be a little thing. It doesn't have to be a big deal gift, but they have to be frequent. A simple note can be a gift, a lollipop, or a cup of coffee. I get hung up on wanting it to be the perfect gift, but the reality is, with making sure someone feels loved, consistency is more important than each instance being perfect. I mean obviously it could be exactly the wrong thing, and that's not good, but waiting until you find the perfect thing is not the way to go either!

For me this is something that I need to practice with my children and friends more than Solomon (he's not really a gifty type). But I want the gift oriented people is my life to feel loved, so I need to be at least able to cope with the language. In the book the author talks about a husband who made himself a calendar, and used it to come up with a plan for gifts to his wife. I have a birthday calendar that should help me get on the ball... but of course that means that I need to actually look at the calendar...

This also does not have to be a huge drain on your finances! Gifts and acts of service have lots of overlap. An act of service is making dinner when your wife normally has to... a gift is making it a candle lit dinner after the kids are already in bed. The food doesn't have to be extra special, it can be what you would have eaten anyway, but the making of it and the presentation turn it into a gift! Some of my favorite love notes are the ones that Solomon has written on 3 x 5 cards!

The point is give gifts of whatever you can, it lets your spouse know that you love them. And of course when you can spend some extra time and money on a gift, do so, but don't wait until you can give something "good enough" give something every day!

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