Monday, March 1, 2010

It's About Quality AND Quantity

One of the things that I really love about the five love languages, is that it's so simple. To write long explanations about what each love language is, is rather redundant, as the names of the languages are pretty darn self-explanatory. So what is there to say about Quality time? The same as the others!

Quality time, I think is the group seen as "High Maintainance" in relationships. I happen to belong to this group. If I'm high demand then I am proud to be so! By feeling loved with quality time, (and being rather vocal about feeling neglected) I have a need to spend time on our marriage, that in the end, I think, leads to a really solid relationship.

The truth is that no matter what your love language, quality time is really important! It keeps the connection between you and your spouse strong (I'm not saying that apart time is not also needed, just that we tend to neglect together time). How can you exchange gifts if you don't get a little "face time" at least? it helps you know what gifts to give. Acts of service are that much better if they culminate in time together to enjoy the service you did.

OK, my bias is totally coming through! But the point is that if this is your language or your spouses language, then it is so important to take the time together! Talk about your definition of quality time too...Is watching a movie quality time? It's not for me, but maybe it is for you. Hanging out as a couple with a group of friends? Perhaps. It's really important that you figure out what it is for you, because it is NOT just time spent in the same room and space. You could spend an entire week in constant presence with each other and not spend one minute in quality time.

For me, Quality time usually has to involve time with just the two of us, mostly talking. I have found that if I can't think of something to talk about, that reading something can grease the wheels. Appreciations are a great starter too. My favorite reading is usually marriage books. I know it sounds like work, not fun so much, but when it leads into a really great conversation about goals in our lives, or recollections of good times past, or successes in our lives, it leaves Solomon and I with a stronger sense of our shared life, and just how great that life is!

So spend real time together! It's really fun!

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