Saturday, February 20, 2010

Appreciations

The Best way I have found to quickly and easily support and feed your marriage is with appreciations. This is a really simple technique, but it has saved marriages on the brink of divorce with regular use. Take 10 minutes sit down with your spouse, and take turns with this. First one of you begins and takes five minutes to tell the other all the things you can think of that you appreciate about your spouse. So, for example, I tell Solomon: " Solomon, thank you for being my husband, thank you for putting the kids to bed tonight by yourself and giving me a night off! I appreciate your beard, I love how thoughtful you are. Thanks for thinking about things so carefully before you make decisions".....Etc. I would go on for five minutes then switch, giving Solomon 5 minutes to say things he appreciates about me. The spouse listening is not allowed to interrupt! They must sit and take it all in! This is not something we automatically think to do all the time or even find easy to do at first! if you need some help getting started try these:
  • Something you did recently for me that I appreciate is...
  • Something you did long ago for me that I appreciate is...
  • Something you do regularly for me that I appreciate is...
  • A spiritual quality that you have that I appreciate is...
  • Something about your looks that I appreciate is...
  • Something that you do for others that I appreciate is...
  • Something that you have worked hard at that I appreciate is...
  • Something that you have a gift for that I appreciate is...
  • Something that I appreciate you not doing is...
  • Something you did with other people that I appreciate is...
  • Something you do all by yourself that I appreciate is...
  • Something in your character that I appreciate is...
  • A quality that you have that I am lacking that I appreciate is...
  • Something that you said to me that I appreciate is...
  • Something that I have told you before that I still appreciate is...
(I blatantly stole this from Lori and John Odhner! well OK they said I could :) Check out their website http://www.caringformarriage.org it's great stuff!)

Happy Appreciating!!!


Some thoughts from Emanuel Swedenborg:

"People who have goodwill hardly notice the evil in another person, but instead notice all his or her good and true qualities, and they put a good interpretation on the bad and wrong things. All angels are like this. It is something they have from the Lord, who bends everyting bad into something good." Secrets of Heaven N. 1079


"In the case of people who are in a state of true married love, their happiness in living together increases because they love each other with every power of sensation. The wife sees nothing more lovable than her husband and the husband nothing more lovable than her. Indeed, neither do they hear, smell or touch anything more lovable than each other. From this comes their happiness in living together and sharing house, bedroom and bed." Marriage Love N. 213

1 comment:

Husband said...

I really like your blog! Looks like we at husbandversuswife.com could learn a few lessons from you - thanks! Annie x